Wednesday, November 10, 2010
A Special Bond...Sometimes
During Chapter 9, the narrator drew my attention to the parent's marriage more in this chapter than any other part in the novel. The narrator discusses how Gogol "thinks of his parents, strangers until this moment, two people who had not spoken until after they were actually wed" (222). Throughout the beginning of the novel, the fact that the parents had an arranged marriage had not affected me. However, after reading these reflections, I started to imagine myself in a similar situation. I believe I would not allow my parents to overtake and decide major aspects of my life. Marriage should sprout from true love between a couple. In Gogol's parents situation, I feel marriage displays itself more as a business transaction than a bond between two individuals. In a larger sense, I now recoginize the benefits of the freedoms given to Americans. American, unlike other cultures, remain free to choose their own pathways in life. Unfortunately, the Bengali culture pushes individuals to marry within their people. Although I would not agree with their decision, I do respect the parents for following their Bengali culture and honoring their parents wishes without argument. If only American teenagers reflected this same obedient nature.
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I definitely agree that the parents' relationship seems unemotional and detached, and almost as a business transaction. I also think that their odd relationship has negatively affected Gogol in his own relationships. I feel as if because his parents did not have a normal relationship, he does not know how to act in his own relationships, and he too does not exactly know what true love is. In chapter 9, he faces many problems with his and Moushumo's relationship like her smoking and his awkwardness with her friends. And, because he does not know how to appropriately confront his wife about these issues, he suffers.
ReplyDeleteFrom the beginning of the novel, the arranged marriage between Ashima and Ashoke greatly bothered me as it seemed as if they learned to love each other after marriage. When first reading of the arranged marriages in India, I realized how, like Kelsey, I would not allow my parents to overtake and determine major aspects of my life, especially a life-time commitment like marriage. After reading of Ashoke and Ashima’s arranged marriage, I became more appreciative of the freedoms we experience in America, especially the unofficial “freedom of marriage” which I feel many American’s, like myself, take for granted. I feel a marriage formed from true love rather than formed due to parental desires, has a much greater chance of survival. Before reading Kelsey’s post I solely criticized Ashima for her failure to speak out against marrying a man she did not love. However, I now realize she deserves at least some respect for honoring her culture and respecting her parent’s desires.
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