The Horrors of Public Speaking

For all of my life, I have had a horrible fear of public speaking. During speeches, I find myself hyperventilating in the back as I wait for my turn. Unfortunately, when I get up for my actual speech, I stumble over words and my temperature rises to insane degrees. At the beginning of senior year, I found similarities in discussions in AP English and formal speeches. I became hesitant of speaking for the first couple weeks. Unfortunately, this reluctance to speak proved itself detrimental to my grade and my ability to outgrow this fear. Gradually, I have become more open in my speaking abilities during class. I have found comfort in our informal setting. I believe this new found ability sprouts from my increased knowledge and a new confidence in my thoughts. I feel obligated to spread my ideas and participate in discussion. Moving forward, I feel that my openess to share ideas will help me in real life. During college next year, I may take up a leadership position in a sororiety or club. In these positions I can prove myself by spreading my ideas for the group and controlling the situation with my confidence in speaking. In the work field, I will be able to communicate with my peers and promote my own opinions into the company I work for. AP English has once again improved my learning and ability to communicate with others.

Not So Fast...

In my impatient frenzy while driving home from school today, something happened that made me reflect on life and our novel. In my previous post, I discussed how our classes seemed to attack the substitute teacher after the different structure of our class last Friday. As I pulled out of the school, I recognized our substitute teacher as the driver of the car in front of me. I, already late for work, continued to become aggravated as he kindly let every car pass him in the parking lot. In my mind, I could only think of how much frustration he has built between me and my fellow classmates the past few days. We continued down East Washington at a slow pace due to the annoying traffic lined up through the street. I waited, waited, and waited till the cars would plow their way through and a clear road would finally appear for me to speed on. Then it happened. Mr. Moor ran into the car in front of him. I would not have even noticed except he courageously got out of his car and talked with the owner of the hit car to clear the issue and take full responsibility for his actions. I could not help but smile at the benevolent nature of this man. He could have easily drove away and avoided the bill and embarrassment of the accident.
This event made me realize how one bad impression can overwhelm ones' ability to see the good in others. McMurphy, for instance, becomes a victim in our novel as the Big Nurse persuades everyone that he selfishly acts against them. Due to her unfair judgments, the whole crew begins to question him and attack him for his ability to win some money. However, most of his intentions for his actions were a result of his caring nature toward the patients. Back to the substitute, we were easy to judge him for his lack of knowledge in English. We automatically assosiated him with frustration and stupidity, rather than seeing the good in his personality. I feel people need to work on not being too quick to judge. One should not judge another from the words of others and make their own judgments off of the interactions they personally have with an individual.

Think Like a Wiseman

During class today, I noticed the quote on the board by W. B. Yeats saying, "Think like a wiseman, but communicate in the language of the people." At the beginning of class, we discussed how we have become insensitive to others who lack certain English abilities we have accumulated in AP English. Not only in English, but I have found that individuals from priveledged schools have neglected to recognize the fortune of having a strong educational school system. I feel that this quote symbolizes how individuals must not advertise their magnitude of knowledge, but reach out to others by communicating on an understandable level and furthermore, help others to become wiser. This quote reminded me of the substitute teacher we had on Friday. While Ms. Serensky told us her reactions to our treatment toward the substitute, I felt ashamed for not respecting his eagerness to learn and our inability to recognize how we could utilize our knowledge to teach another. In retrospect, knowledge travels in a cicrle. If individuals refuse to return to the basics and communicate in the language of the people ( the substitute), we deprive individuals from our knowledge. Like Ms. Serensky stated during class, we must perform then go home. Our confident attitudes in no way enrich the knowledge of others. Therefore, we must recognize that we should not continue to show off our wisdom outside of English class.  In the language of the people, Ms. Serensky has taught me to "think" rather than speak "like a wiseman".

Which Do You Prefer?

Considering I have commons after my English period, I find that my table regularly discusses aspects of English class. Amoung these discussions, we have debates over which book we prefer, The Namesake or One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. While many swayed toward The Namesake as a more enjoyable read, I have found that One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest has been more intriguing and entertaining for me. Similar to The Namesake, this novel creates many complex stories that connect to the main character of the novel. However, with a first-person narration, I desire to hear the thoughts of other characters other than Chief Bromden resulting in a much more intriguing story line. I feel that throughout the novel, I have questioned reality and the accuracy of the narrators thoughts. The input of the character McMurphy has intensified the tension within the hospital. His unpredictable attitude leaves me wondering the events yet to come and suprised after every action he makes. After the previous uprising against the Nurse, I have continually hoped for another outbreak to bring her down completely. Ken Kesey's timeline of events throughout the novel has added suspense as the Nurse slowly loses then  regains her power. Unlike The Namesake, I find myself enjoying the book even more after every eventful and suspenseful chapter.

Spice It Up!

As we continue to progress in our current novel One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, I find myself questioning my own insanity. What makes an individual truely insane? For the past couple of weeks, our blogs have been filled with numerous posts about our obsession with AP English. We all strive for perfection and dedicate most of our day to depicting the little details out of one book. Many may argue that these characteristics, in a way, reflect an insane person. Outside of AP English, I have found that we all have our little corks that define ourselves in unique ways, but raise the question of our sanity. For instance, the other night during a senior band "get together," Tina began quickly swallowing strawberries whole and in a matter of seconds she had reached double digits. The reason behind this peculiar action? I cannot say. I recall everyone staring in awe and wondering why anyone in their right mind would risk choking to death in exchange for the "cool feeling" Tina claimed to have come from this. Would this make Tina insane? I reflect on this memory with only content. Yes, Tina, along with myself and my other friends, have times when we act "insanely". However, these moments define our personality and, in reality, allow us to enjoy ourselves from the stupidity of our actions. I feel that everyone needs a little dose of insanity to spice up their lives and enjoy living an "insane" lifestyle.

Blah, Blah, Blah

After our discussion Friday about a character's inability to speak and hear, I reflected on how much I take advantage of these skills. Talking, not as necessary in today's technology filled society, allows individuals to easily communicate with each other. Cell phone companies have estimated that the average individual spends 1440 minutes on their phone daily. Many use a portion of this time to physically speak with another individual listening on the other end. The ability to speak acts as an essetial part of everyday life and I never realized the great importance it has toward living my life. For instance, everyday in English, we have discussions on our opinions on books. In order to clearly recognize the emotions we feel toward characters and situations, we must voice our opinion in ways that express how we feel about the text. I have noticed that different tones and voice inflections reflect anger or other emotions. The inability to speak reminds me of a game I used to play during my childhood years. My parents would tell me and my sister that whoever could refrain from speaking the longest would win a prize. Unfortunately, I always seemed to speak right after the game began. Now, looking back on these memories, I realize two things. One, my parents did not enjoy listening to me and my sister speak. Two, I would suffer greatly without verbal communication. Sound plays an enormous part in my lifestyle.