Ridiculous

It may sound strange, but I cannot fully remember anything today except for the moment after the English essay. I walked into Calculus today and immediately, I could feel the stress radiating off of all of the AP English students. As I began to gain some of these uncomfortable feelings within myself, I pondered on why we all seemed to feel the heaviest weight on our shoulders. Only one word came to my mind. Essay. I continued to unconsciously listen to Mr. Maas's lecture on sequences, but found my mind to be wondering elsewhere. My eyes fell upon that huge stack of papers. These paper just sat waiting, and waiting for me to memorize all contents of it's pages. I continued my day in complete frustration. At times when you need to remember the most you can, everything seems to become lost and forgotten. By fifth period, I continued to stare at the endless stack of papers hoping that everything would go smoothly during english class the next period. Now, looking back on my stressful day, I realize the ridiculousness of my worries. I wasted a whole day stressing for an assignment that lasted about forty minutes. In the long run, everything ends up okay. I have come to realize that I waste more time stressing then actually focusing and getting my work done. I can only hope that next essay, I will have the same attitude as I do at this moment. It could save me alot of time.

Expectations

After watching the movie in English these past couple of days, I have thought about the expectations people have for each other. In the movie, the character Moushumi surprised the whole crowd as she appeared far more rebellious than expected. From the text we read, I had imagined an innocent, grieving woman and foreshadowed only a slight change in appearance between her childhood and adult years. However, as you all know, Moushumi came out with a much more confident and striking appearance. This makes me wonder how others expect me to appear from just descriptions of my character. There have been multiple times when I have met someone and realize the complete misjudgment I had of them. Ironically, I seem to forget my assumed images of the person and only see them as they first appear. I would not be surprised if others have found the same thing to occur when meeting me. This proves that one should not make assumptions before they witness first hand. Many times, one can meet a complete surprise.

Blogger: The New Facebook?

Upon walking into the learning center during commons, I found the majority of my English class intensely focused on a certain website. Since we have been assigned to blog about our experiences in English class, most of us have become obsessed with blogging. Similar to facebook's status updates, we find ourselves sneaking off to the library to share our numerous opinions about English. When I first learned of this project, I feared I would not enjoy continuing English discussions after class everyday. However, I find amusement in designing my blog and reading the humorous entries other students post. Instead of ignoring my homework with Facebook for ridiculous amounts of time, I open up blogger. Here, we compete with our classmates on who can create the most entertaining page. Ms. Serensky even admits that she would much rather eye our websites than read through the juniors' papers. However, this statement leads me to a very disturbing question. Is Blogger the new Facebook? If so, AP English 12 officially has taken over our lives.

Yummy!

Today's discussion brought about the topic of Thanksgiving. Although many would argue against this holiday because of the stomach pains on the day after, I find Thanksgiving as a highlight of my year. First of all, I enjoy the five day weekend we have in celebration of this event. By the second quarter, I need this break to maintain my sanity. Thanksgiving, for me, contists of lots of food and spending time with the family. The day before this holiday, I cook and prepare for the next day's feast. However, the real festivities do not begin until I have a plateful of food on that thursday evening. It may sound pathetic, but I look forward to this meal all year. Food serves as a comfort in my busy life. Food can only bring light to my day because of it's amazing taste and tendency to never let me down. If I could depend on all aspects of life this strongly, challenges would rarely arise. However, I celebrate stress free on Thanksgiving because it connects the things that I love in my life. Thanksgiving encourages me to appreciate the importance of family and the ability to share an amazing meal together on this holiday.

Flowing with Frustration

After today's discussion of Chapter 10, I felt we had only a brief discussion on our views of Gogol. I felt particularly frustrated in this reading section because of Gogol's unawareness to his wife's sneaky actions. Continually throughout the novel, I have viewed Gogol as a foolish and childish individual. Gogol continues to latch himself on to people. I feel that this dependence results from his continuous battle to escape his own unenjoyable lifestyle. As a result, Gogol finds himself too trusting of others. After Moushumi continually cheats on Gogol, he "suspects nothing. As usual they have dinner, talk of their days" (264). This quote specifically elevated my frustration with Gogol. I cannot fathom how Gogol cannot recognize the conflict in his marriage. His need to attach to others becomes problematic as Gogol's trusting nature remains unaware of his wife's unloyalty. I understand how Moushumi's sneaky nature and Gogol's busy schedule could hinder the clues about her affair. However, in previous chapters, Gogol seemed to adore spending time with his wife. I assume Gogol would continue this admiration throughout this chapter as well. Therefore, I find myself becoming frustrated with Gogol's cluelessness. I believe a relationship should base itself off of trust and effort. This couple seems to lack both of these aspects. I hope Gogol will eventually become an independent individual and recognize the faults in his marriage.

A Special Bond...Sometimes

During Chapter 9, the narrator drew my attention to the parent's marriage more in this chapter than any other part in the novel. The narrator discusses how Gogol "thinks of his parents, strangers until this moment, two people who had not spoken until after they were actually wed" (222). Throughout the beginning of the novel, the fact that the parents had an arranged marriage had not affected me. However, after reading these reflections, I started to imagine myself in a similar situation. I believe I would not allow my parents to overtake and decide major aspects of my life. Marriage should sprout from true love between a couple. In Gogol's parents situation, I feel marriage displays itself more as a business transaction than a bond between two individuals. In a larger sense, I now recoginize the benefits of the freedoms given to Americans. American, unlike other cultures, remain free to choose their own pathways in life. Unfortunately, the Bengali culture pushes individuals to marry within their people. Although I would not agree with their decision, I do respect the parents for following their Bengali culture and honoring their parents wishes without argument. If only American teenagers reflected this same obedient nature.