I See The Light

I see the light. Today during Calculus, our class started reminising on  how we can see the light. As we quickly approach the end of January, I see the bitter sweet feeling I have toward graduation and moving on with my life. Since fourth grade, I have seen myself familiarize with my fellow students and build friendships I see lasting for years to come. At this time next year, I see myself surrounded with a crowd of strangers, rather than, these people I know too much about. I see the day I leave the bubble and introduce myself to a much bigger world. I see myself stressing over the ridiculous work loads of college. I see myself anxiously waiting to introduce myself to teachers and students. I see myself having to readjust to college life. However, I see myself eagerly waiting for the end of this chapter in my life and to move on to a completely different atmosphere. I see that the secure nature of Chagrin Falls has enabled me to feel comfortable with meeting new people and exploring different imperfect environments other than my childhood home.  I see myself coming back home on breaks and sharing my new experiences with the people I have been forced to live without. I see myself being prepared for the worst because of the years of experience and numerous lessons I have encountered in my high school years. I see a bright future ahead. I see the light.

The Overall Picture

These past couple have months have been filled with constant communication. I feel that apart from our daily discussions, Blogger has played a whole role in conversation between AP English students. Although my procrastination has left me stressed multiple Sunday nights, I have found Blogger as a unique and casual way to display my ideas about English class. First of all, I usually have many things to say after discussions. This new tool helps me to express my ideas after class is over and without having to face the horrors of our competitive discussions. I continually express my fears of public speaking throughout my blog. Therefore, it remains clear that Blogger provides me with a stress free way of speaking my mind. Not only do I get to express my own ideas, but I read and learn about the other students in my class. I have found that each blog seems to have a specific theme that has allowed me to get to know each student more deeply. For instance, if you visit Haley's blog, it is filled with shopping bags to represent her obvious love for shopping. The blog banter at the beginning of class, also provides a fun way to start our class. Rather than digging right into worksheets, journals, or discussions, we laugh about the ridiculous things people blog about. Blogger has definitely been a positive asset to English class and I hope to continue with Blogger in the future.

Open Space

After discussion the other day, I realized the impact of space. On Thursday, our usual open circle enclosed into a much more welcoming setting. I have found that over the course of this year's discussions, the gaps between both sides of the room have created many problems. First of all, I tend to have difficulty hearing my neighbor let alone the students all the way across the room. This conflict leads to numerous interruptions, embarrassment for the interrupter, and repeats on previously discussed material. I also find the space, in a sense, overwhelming. In one of my previous passages, I commented on my difficulty with public speaking. Although I have improved, I still find the huge hole in the middle of our room to be problematic. It creates a spotlight on the person speaking rather than an enclosed circle of conversation where everyone has something to input. The ability to closely interact with others in our class allows students to focus and sort out the text efficiently. Last Thursday, I felt as though our class discussion turned into an in depth conversation rather than contest who could speak the most. The main reason for this change was, I believe, our compacted space.

Sudden!

I jumped. The sudden appearance of the insane man in our movie today made me jump. That feeling of shock and suprise always seems to affect me. Ironically, I have seen Shutter Island before. Ever since childhood, I have thrived off of sudden fear. On numerous occasions, I have found myself flipping through the channels trying to find something to watch on TV. Of course, I always stumble upon some classic thriller. For some unknown reason, I stay on this show for as long as I can just to see if I can survive the fear. It seems to be a love-hate relationship. The adrenalin always builds as I find myself slowing beginning to sweat, and at times scream out of complete horror. I find this strange, though. Why do I enjoy completely "dying" out of fear? I find that many of us, including myself, enjoy the unknown. In English class, we will walk into the classroom, see the journal on our desk, and freak out about what we will have to write about all period. However, when we are told of the journal ahead of time, we realize that journals are not that scary. Everyday we are met by sudden suprises that prompt unneccessary fear within us. But why? Like my obsession with scary movies, I feel that we all need a little sudden shock in order to stay interested. Without any aspect of surprise, we would not engage ourselves into our lives, but rather have certain known expectations everyday. Where is the fun in living like that?

Poof

During this holiday season, I made sure to watch more than enough movies. My dad suggested that I should watch one of his favorites, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.  He claimed this movie is one of the best of all time. I immediately thought about how Ms. Serensky chose Shutter Island over this supposedly amazing classic. After shuffling through many confused thoughts, I began to understand why she chose against watching this movie. First of all, the movie, The Namesake, was definitely an embarrassment after reading the novel during english class. In a larger sense, I have found that every movie I watch after perusing the novel comes no where close to the epic imagery and entertainment it possessed while I read. For some reason, I find myself disappointed by the scenes in a movie when they do not match exactly what I had pictured from the novel. Movies take away from ones' ability to imagine and create their own view of the story. They also rarely exactly follow the full story-line. Many movies stray away from important aspects of the original book. This not only takes away from the full story, but leaves me disappointed when I don't see one of my favorite parts of the novel on screen. Therefore, I am grateful for the chose of Shutter Island during english this week. I not only get to watch a good movie, but I will not lose the scenes I have imagined from our last novel. In the future, I will continue to enjoy books rather than rely on movies as entertainment. From my own experience, books have much more value.