Where Has It All Gone?

Restaurant      At Home Meal 

The other day my father and I were looking through my past purchases over the month. As a high school girl, my father expected  numerous tabs from beachwood mall and other clothes stores. Sadly,  I wasted one of my whole pay checks on nothing, but food and gas. To make the matter worse, the result of my mutiple gas purchases only occurred beause of my need to go out for food everyday during the weekend. This makes me ask myself multiple questions. Why do I eat so much? When is too much food too much food? How does restaurant food remain so appealing? Are the numerous food choices the attraction, or the fact the food comes from the effort of another? I find my impulse to eat out a result of complete laziness and my frustration with the limited choices I find in my own pantry. The most frustrating thing about meals is having to make a concoction that you, in five minutes, will not even want to eat. Then, after the meal, you must clean up. If you neglect this task, your parents run in yelling about how they "just cleaned the kitchen" (when really you cleaned it yourself an hour before). This leads to only further frustration and a complete ruin of the amazing meal you dreamed of having. So where has the money all gone? The money has gone to a hungry stomach and a lazy mindset.

Paper vs. Data Sheet

Deeper thinking results in severe migrane.

For Real?

After reading our novel Amsterdam, I can't help but question the sincerity of those around me. Vernon, who obviously remains a horrible friend to Clive, remains secretive toward his unfriendly ways in the eyes of his peers. How can we truly know people are sincere? Can one believe everything the other says? The truth is, we are all guilty. Everyone has there moments when disguising your true feelings is necessary in the situation.  I find this alot while working on the weekends. A customer will browse in and take there sweet old time. Occassionally, they will ask a question and argue for a better price on dog food. When I first started working there I ended up waiting on some nasty customers. The worst ones I have come to find either won't make eye contact or have their cell phones glued to their face.  However, being the loyal employee (who doesn't want to lose her job), I must smile politely and act as though they aren't being the most annoying person in the world. As I said, we are ALL guilty. However, I can't help but question where to draw the line. How can someone recognize a real smile from a fake one? One can never know what exactly goes through the mind of others. Although this can be frustrating, in a way it is a blessing. I would love to say people always tell the truth, but that would be me not telling the truth. Sometimes, it is just better to be fooled by a lie then face the ugly truth. 

Time?

After our poem assigned for class Monday, Ms. Serensky wrote a similarly themed quote that caught my attention in today's class. As I recall, William Penn quoted "Time is what we want most, but what we use worst." I have to agree, time plays a huge role in our lives. Ironically, I began thinking about the concept of time last night in my family room. This subject seems to bring upon endless questions that will always remain unanswered. When did we begin? When will life end? What is time? Like I said, we will never know. But, what should we do about this uncertainty? Penn implies that most people do not use their time wisely and hope to have more time rather than enjoying the time given. In a sense, I agree that many individuals take advantage of their lives without the recognition that their lives have to come to an end. However, striving away from this pessimistic mindset, I am a firm believer in the claim that everything happens for a reason. The time spent on one thing leads to the time spent on another. Why should one feel they have wasted their life away when they need certain events to prompt others? Time does set limits on ones' lifestyle. However, these limits prompt the accumulation of important things in ones' life. Time allows one to recognize what they truly care about. In a way, time limits discourage wasted time, but, rather, encourage one to use their time wisely. With the uncertainy time presents, one can only hope they use time to their full advantage.

I See The Light

I see the light. Today during Calculus, our class started reminising on  how we can see the light. As we quickly approach the end of January, I see the bitter sweet feeling I have toward graduation and moving on with my life. Since fourth grade, I have seen myself familiarize with my fellow students and build friendships I see lasting for years to come. At this time next year, I see myself surrounded with a crowd of strangers, rather than, these people I know too much about. I see the day I leave the bubble and introduce myself to a much bigger world. I see myself stressing over the ridiculous work loads of college. I see myself anxiously waiting to introduce myself to teachers and students. I see myself having to readjust to college life. However, I see myself eagerly waiting for the end of this chapter in my life and to move on to a completely different atmosphere. I see that the secure nature of Chagrin Falls has enabled me to feel comfortable with meeting new people and exploring different imperfect environments other than my childhood home.  I see myself coming back home on breaks and sharing my new experiences with the people I have been forced to live without. I see myself being prepared for the worst because of the years of experience and numerous lessons I have encountered in my high school years. I see a bright future ahead. I see the light.

The Overall Picture

These past couple have months have been filled with constant communication. I feel that apart from our daily discussions, Blogger has played a whole role in conversation between AP English students. Although my procrastination has left me stressed multiple Sunday nights, I have found Blogger as a unique and casual way to display my ideas about English class. First of all, I usually have many things to say after discussions. This new tool helps me to express my ideas after class is over and without having to face the horrors of our competitive discussions. I continually express my fears of public speaking throughout my blog. Therefore, it remains clear that Blogger provides me with a stress free way of speaking my mind. Not only do I get to express my own ideas, but I read and learn about the other students in my class. I have found that each blog seems to have a specific theme that has allowed me to get to know each student more deeply. For instance, if you visit Haley's blog, it is filled with shopping bags to represent her obvious love for shopping. The blog banter at the beginning of class, also provides a fun way to start our class. Rather than digging right into worksheets, journals, or discussions, we laugh about the ridiculous things people blog about. Blogger has definitely been a positive asset to English class and I hope to continue with Blogger in the future.

Open Space

After discussion the other day, I realized the impact of space. On Thursday, our usual open circle enclosed into a much more welcoming setting. I have found that over the course of this year's discussions, the gaps between both sides of the room have created many problems. First of all, I tend to have difficulty hearing my neighbor let alone the students all the way across the room. This conflict leads to numerous interruptions, embarrassment for the interrupter, and repeats on previously discussed material. I also find the space, in a sense, overwhelming. In one of my previous passages, I commented on my difficulty with public speaking. Although I have improved, I still find the huge hole in the middle of our room to be problematic. It creates a spotlight on the person speaking rather than an enclosed circle of conversation where everyone has something to input. The ability to closely interact with others in our class allows students to focus and sort out the text efficiently. Last Thursday, I felt as though our class discussion turned into an in depth conversation rather than contest who could speak the most. The main reason for this change was, I believe, our compacted space.